Did you know that 60% of women THINK about starting a business and never do because they feel like they don’t have what it takes or they aren’t schooled enough to sustain a business. I find that so sad. I started my first business 22 years ago. I had just quit my job to go into business with a family member. And let me tell you something that was not a great choice. But…it got me on my path to become who I am today.
It didn’t boom right away. And there were some times that I was in the fetal position on the floor. There were times when I doubted if this was right for me – did I have what it took to build a business from the ground up. And the reality is that I did it. But if I had these tools in the beginning it would have been SOOO much easier to get through the mental war in my head.
For you it may look different. Some people start out strong and it is when they go to level-up or start the new thing, that the internal voices begin. Those voices that remind you of how unqualified you are.
Do you recognize any of these sayings? Which one do you relate to the most?
"My brain regularly tries to tell me that I do not know what I'm dong or that I don't belong."
"I would doubt myself before getting on client calls. Can I really help this person? Am I good enough? Do I even know the right information?"
"I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I could see others in my field doing great things but not me, I never felt competent enough to do it.”
"I struggle with a feeling of not truly belonging.” *
3 ways to move from Imposter to Confident (from a Cognitive/Conscious approach):
1. Stop comparing – when I voiced a concern to a coach years ago that I wasn’t far enough along to help others with what I was offering at the time she asked me a key question “Aren’t you farther along than they are?" and the answer came to me very quickly. "Well, yes, yes I am." That was a turning point for me and one that I continue to remind myself. I hope it helps you too.
a. You don’t have to be the expert for the experts. You just have to be the expert to help those that are coming behind you that need the exact knowledge that you have to offer keep moving you are on the right path!
2. Check Your Thoughts – keep a journal. Sometimes we don’t even realize the thoughts that are really playing in our own heads. Even if you keep a notes file in your phone and every time you hear something in your head that brings you down write it down and flip it. Create an opposite statement.
a. If the statement says “I don’t have what it takes to succeed here” then write down every little thing you have accomplished and remind your mind what you have the capability of doing.
b. Find a great meditation that focuses on confidence and strength. Great Meditation on YouTube has some really good short guided meditations for people who don’t have much experience or patience with meditation. Message me for some suggestions.
c. Gratitude journal focus – write down 3 things minimum per day that you have succeeded at. These can be little things. You may even be grateful that you picked up the phone to call the potential client even if you don’t finish making the call just yet. We forget as babies we didn’t run the first time we took a step but we were praised for even taking that first step. Sometimes we need to do that with our adult selves too.
3. Set up accountability – do you have someone in your life that will hold you accountable? When you say you are going to start that new thing or expand your business is there someone you can send your numbers to each day/week for a while to build that muscle? If not hire a coach. I have hired many different kinds of coaches in my 22 year journey as an entrepreneur and I have learned something from each one that has taken me further faster.
But even those great suggestions often fail. And it isn’t because you fail – it is because there is something deeper happening that keeps us in those patterns and prevents us from moving forward.
Truth - Our mind and body are programmed to do one thing – protect us. And sometimes they get confused about what that protection should be. For instance, working with clients I often run into things where the mind is running a script saying “Reject Me” so it is like you are wearing a shirt walking around to a group of potential clients with the screen printing of “Reject Me” on it. That isn’t helpful. However, the mind formed that protective barrier because there was a time in your past that you put yourself out there and were rejected and to avoid that hurt again it is easier to just repel possible rejection in the future. When we say it out loud it sounds kind of silly unless it is truly a life or death situation but that is what the mind does.
There are also times when generational belief systems play a factor. These are things that we were raised hearing, seeing and sometimes just gifted to us through our cellular DNA. Things that tell us that “this is hard” or “we aren’t the people that build businesses.” These are all things I have found and cleared within myself and also my clients.
Curious about how I do it? Head here to book an Elevate Exploration Call and we can talk about where you are stuck and how this work may help you – no strings attached.
*excerpts from the online article "16 Women Entrepreneurs Share Their Struggle with Imposter Syndrome & How They Conquer it"
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