You see it everywhere you go. Every mirror you pass, every windowed door you open.
That body is following you but it can’t be yours!!
It has rolls in places that you don’t want to admit but they are there for the whole world to see.
Your cheeks – they are more like chipmunk cheeks than nicely sculpted centerpieces of your once beautiful face.
And that butt and thighs – ugh! Let’s not even talk about them.
How many diets have there been? 5,10 maybe even too many to count in the entire time you have been hating the way your body looks and trying to change it.
And how on earth can you be confident in this body where you feel like it’s like an unwanted suit that you can’t pull off? Have you ever trying LOVING your body to its true size?
What does that even look like?
Accepting where you are right now.
It starts with:
Acknowledging that restrictive dieting and excessive exercise do not feel loving to your body and actually produce the opposite result you are going for.
Using specific tools and methods to build a new internal dialog. Tools that allow your mind + body to get into sync. Once your body knows it can share when it is hungry and full, how it is feeling in a way that doesn't need such an extreme such as freezing you or making you feel like you have to run from a bear (fight, flight and freeze) then it becomes so much easier to love that body where it is right now on the way to where it is going.
I know it may seem completely impossible right now. But what if it isn’t?
How would it feel to hold your shoulders high as you walk by that mirror or that full length window at the store – maybe even give yourself a wink knowing you are amazing! AMAZING! Even at the size and weight you are right now.
I hear what you are thinking or doubting. You may have tried some things in the past. One of the method you likely were encouraged to use were sticky notes to write down words of affirmations to help direct your mind to where you wanted to go. And I applaud that – really I do. But what I have found is this. You may have missed a critical step. In my experience both with my own journey and that of my clients, If you don’t pair the affirmations for any goal (weightloss, business goals, fitness goals) with unconscious healing they don’t working at all or it takes far longer to get anything positive to happen. And all the while your confidence and self-esteem are drifting away.
One great way to work on the unconscious at the same time and something you can easily do easily on your own is this:
EFT Tapping. Have you tried it before? EFT Tapping is highly beneficial to calm the nervous system releasing the body from that fight/flight or freeze response. Here is a guide on how to get started:
Pay attention to where your body feels tense or out of sorts, possibly even at war with itself. Give it a number from 1-10 with 10 being the worst.
Here is an example of how you can use tapping. If these words don’t feel like they describe your exact feelings please fill in words that resonate with you – this is just an example.
Eyebrow: How can I do this? Looking into this mirror is more than I can take right now
Side of Eye: Because when I look all I see are things I hate about me
Under Eye: That loose, awful looking double chin
Under Nose: Those flabby arms – forget wearing a tank top in public
Chin: Those rolls on my back and belly AND those thighs and that butt, UGH – how did I get this way?!
Collar Bone: I just can’t stand to look at myself anymore
Top of Head: I have to fix this, I can’t stand how I feel in this body. I am so angry at myself for letting it get this way!
Take a Deep Breath – 5 counts in and 5 counts out. Check in with yourself how are you really feeling, has some of that emotional charge started to diminish? On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel about your body if it is still between 5-10 do another round similar to the one above talking about how many things you HATE OR DON’T LIKE. If it is lower like a 1,2,3 do this round next. It’s ok to do as many rounds as needed. It won’t take long for your body to come along on this amazing ride with you.
Eyebrow: Even though I see the reflection and I still don’t love what I see
Side of Eye: I am learning to let go of those feelings
Under Eye: I am choosing this time to love myself through and find other ways
Under Nose: I know my body has been protecting me or needs something that I haven’t discovered yet
Chin: And I am open to new ways to release my weight that allow my body to feel safe and calm
Collar Bone: I am ready for a change
Top of Head: And as I love myself and look for solutions that honor my body the excess weight will come off easily and peacefully
I want to leave you with this today – you are not broken because your body looks different than you think it should. Our version of the ideal body is so skewed by marketing to try and make everyone think they are wrong for not fitting into that one ideal size that is held up as “right.” A way to accept where you are today while you work with your body to bring it to its best, most ideal size and weight is to use a combination or conscious work such as affirmations or journaling combined with unconscious work such as tapping.
I know this isn’t easy. I am here for you. I use several different modalities when working with my 1:1 clients. Tapping is just one of those. I know you may not be ready to jump into working with me 1:1 but would a guided tapping session of the sample above help? I got you! Message me "Guided Body Confidence Tapping" on Instagram or Facebook.
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